My 2012 Anti-Resolutions
It’s time get the new year off to a creative start—and make some resolutions you’ll actually keep in the process.
The rules are simple:
- List ten things you resolve NOT to do in the upcoming year.
- Be as creative as possible.
To get this thing rolling, here are…
My 2012 New Year’s Anti-Resolutions
- I will NOT lobby Congress to change the national motto to “Riiiiiicolaaaaaaa.”
- I will NOT convince my kids that the DVDs I bought them are in the new FOOD-Ray format, which converts their TV into Taste-O-Vision.
- I will NOT introduce leitmotif into my home, by composing original themes for each cat and humming their assigned theme whenever they enter the room.
- I will NOT use my impending 40th birthday to begin my crusade to start the new tradition of Birthday Pie.
- I will NOT use my new status as an ordained minister of the FSM, to hang around the pasta bar and blessing the plates of strangers.
- I will NOT start a movement encouraging use of the upcoming “end of the world” as a way to clear up personal debt.
- I will NOT alter the kids birth certificates to list Gonzo the Great as their father so as to make them believe they are a new breed of Muppet hybrid.
- I will NOT attempt to convince the Pipe & Drum Band to add Harmonicas as an accompanying instrument.
- I will NOT, when it’s time to renew my phone contract, insist that they allow me purchase the secret intra-cranial smartphone that’s talked about in the “secret memo.”
- I will NOT start an email hoax insisting that the baking mixes for Yellow Cake, actually contain uranium.
Eighty-Nine
“Eighty-Nine” is the third offering from Literary Mix Tapes (a quarterly crowd-sourced short fiction anthology inspired by music), and the second one I’m a part of.
Twenty-Six original stories inspired by Twenty-Six different songs, all released in 1989. It was the year the Berlin Wall came down and Voyager went up. In San Francisco and Newcastle the ground shook, in Chernobyl it melted. Tiananmen Square rocked the world and Tank Man imprinted on the international consciousness. These Twenty-Six stories reinvent what it was like to live in a world moving from one decade to the next.
My own story, “Shrödinger’s Cat,” was inspired by the Eurythmics “Don’t Ask Me Why.” 1989 gave us the scientific hoax of Cold Fusion, as well as the beginning of the computer virus era, and these form the backdrop for what my editor described as a cyberpunk-noir must read. And that girl on the front cover…that’s Amiga…one of my main characters.
Read MoreIf I Had It To Do Over Again
The Setup
Jodi Cleghorn, my pesky beloved editor, on her own blog, posed a question for me to answer.
Two years ago, she and Paul Anderson, two fellow bloggers at Write Anything, asked me if I’d like to write a story for an anthology they’d dreamed up. “It’s called Chinese Whisperings. Did you ever play that game when you were a kid? In America, I think it’s called telephone. (OK, I’ll admit that’s probably not a direct quote. I probably still have the email but I didn’t want to spend the time looking for it.) Two years later that, story has been done, plus another in the series, the eBook has been out for over a year, I’ve published another story through working friendship collaboration (with two more on the way), and Chinese Whispering is about to publish it’s first two volumes in paperback.
In case you decided to skip that paragraph…it’s been a busy two years.
The First Chinese Whisperings books was written a little bit like a camp-song sung in the round. Each author had to take their main character from the cast of secondary characters in the prior story. And now that Chinese Whisperings: The Red Book is about to come out in paperback (Oct 11, 2011, in case you were wondering), my frenetic energetic friend from across the world has put this question to me: What would I do if I had a second chance at my story? Is there another character that I whose story I would have chosen to tell?
The Response
Short Answer
No. (I could make it shorter, but I liked including the period.)
Long Answer
As I was waiting my turn to write my story (sixth out of ten) I was able to read the stories before mine as they were turned in. I remember while reading Jason Coggins’ Something Mean in the Dream Scene, wanting very badly to be the next author in line, because a story came to me almost fully formed about one of the characters. But having just reread that story I can’t for the life of remember who that character was…or what the story was.
Then when I read Tina Hunter’s Innocence I drew a blank. I didn’t want to write the story of any of those characters. But Jodi reminded me that I’m always like that at the beginning of a project. And she was right. After about ten rereads the the secondary characters of that story were all already too involved in the events of the book. I needed to look at the background characters. When I finally did choose the story it came out quickly, if erratically.
But looking back at the book as a whole, I can’t think of a character I would have rather picked up on than Simon.
Although I have to admit I was a little bummed that Jasmine Gallant didn’t tell Verity’s story. But it’s hard to hold a grudge when she did such a great job with Dash.
This will all make so much more sense to you if you’ve read the book. Don’t have a copy? Never fear. It’ll be out in paperback in less than a month.
I’d originally tagged Annie Evett as the next to answer the question, but it seems she, as well as most of the other female writers are busy. So to keep things going I’ll tag Rob Diaz.
Read MoreNothing But Flowers
“Nothing But Flowers: tales of post apocalyptic love” is the second offering from Literary Mix Tapes (a quarterly crowd-sourced short fiction anthology inspired by music)…. and I am fortunate enough to have a story included.
Inspired by the Talking Heads song of the same name, Nothing But Flowers explores the complexities and challenges of love in a post apocalyptic landscape. From plague to fundamentalist governments, comets and war, from terra firma to outer space the people on these pages face up to what it means to love and be loved when you’ve lost everything.
My own story, “There But for Fortune” is included in the anthology.
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