Post-Holiday Malaise

Posted on Jan 7, 2009 in Brats, Family, Holidays | 0 comments

I’m not the biggest fan of the holidays. Not a Scrooge mind you—I probably fall right in the middle of the bell-curve. But the time of the year right after the holidays always seems to bring with it a downswing in my mood. And I’m not sure I ever really understood it until now.

When I was a kid, I always thought it was the normal back-to-school lethargy. Then in high school and college I reasoned that the abrupt change in schedule just meant I was tired. As I moved into adulthood I attributed it to the annual belt-tightening that naturally follows a period of financial excess. And then as a parent I thought it was just the post-Christmas poverty.

But now I think I just miss the lights.

I’ve never been a big one for going off the deep end with decorations, but during the holidays our house would probably best be compared to a low-rent casino trying to advertise some new promotion. There are mismatched strands of lights, three different inflatables all dressed as Santa—as if Snoopy, Pooh and Tigger are about to rumble for the right to deliver presents (my money’s on Tigger), trees festooned with unbreakable ornaments—half of which were already broken (which I suppose makes them unbreakable in the same way shattered glass is)—and walkways lined with lighted canes and snowflakes.

I know it sounds like a lot, but I’ve got 4 kids. You try telling one that they can’t have their favorite inflatable in the front yard when the other got their snowman decoration staked out in the front yard. I know I could pull rank, but then we’d just be laying down the law for the entire four-week break. And what fun would that be. Parents don’t get the luxury of good taste.

And out house wasn’t even the brightest on the block. The house down the street had a nativity set that not only lit up, but he blanketed the front yard with net lights. The resulting lawn grid made the whole thing look like a manger scene from The Matrix.

Yes it’s all gaudy, and tacky, loud and obnoxious. But now that it’s all gone, the street is just so plain. On a street where all the houses look pretty much the same, mime is no longer distinguished as the one that most interferes with star-watching. Instead it’s the one with the arch in the garden, that you really can’t see because it’s too dark. What fun is that?

It’s all rather like being in Disney World long enough to see them power down the rides for the night.

I Miss My Papa

Posted on Nov 19, 2008 in Family | 5 comments

As of yesterday, my Papa has been gone for 19 years. I phrase it that way because it seems a little morbid to refer to “anniversaries” of someone’s death. Anyway, I tried not to think about it too much, but I couldn’t seem to shake a low-grade funk all day.

I miss him. It’s such a simple thing to say, but to truly miss someone is a concept we don’t often take the time to understand. When I say I miss him, I don’t just mean that I wish he were still alive. I mean that there are things I’d like to do with him that I can’t. I would like to introduce him to his grandkids (he wouldn’t care about the “step-” any more than I do).

I would like to hear his voice again. I’ve now lived longer without him, than with, and I can’t really remember what he sounded like. I remember him being a very good singer. I was blessed with both parents being exceptionally gifted in the vocal department, and was always being dragged around to different functions (church, barbershop and whatnot) and singing was an integral part of our lives. So it is something fundamental when I say I miss his voice.

I would like him to tease me about my hair going grey (and going away). I would like his advice on parenting.

One of the things I regret most about him dying so young, was that I never got to take him to dinner. I remember the first time I took my Mom to dinner. It wasn’t preplanned that I would pay, but when the bill came I took it, and she didn’t fight. It’s subtle but meaningful step in the relationship between a child and their parent. And I never got to do that with him.

None of this resolves anything. I still miss him, and I guess I always will. And I don’t have a problem with that.

It's the Little Things

Posted on Nov 18, 2008 in Family | 2 comments

When you have a family to take care of, it’s often the little things in life—the incremental luxuries—that get us excited.

When I was a little kid, a quarter, or a tiny piece of candy was a great reward. As I got older it took more to elicit excitement—a new CD or even a CD player for a birthday or Christmas. And when I lived on my own, I could give myself any luxury I could afford, and even some that I couldn’t. But now, with a family, I’m back to being excited by the little things.

You see, yesterday I won an eBay auction for some new eyeglasses…well, eyeglass frames. I’ve been wearing the same pair of glasses for over 5 years now—a condition made possible because the frames are a very bendy metal, so if I fall asleep wearing them I don’t damage them. But now after five years the lenses have begun to deteriorate. As the scratch coating wears off I’m spending my waking hours staring through a pattern of fading coating that looks an awful lot like clear paint peeling away. And frankly it’s giving me a headache.

But these glasses were expensive. Bought when I had very good vision insurance. So I was thrilled when I found a new pair, very similar in style, and made of the same flexible metal. They even came with magnetic sunglasses.

I suppose it doesn’t say much for my lifestyle when winning an eBay auction for a mundane item gets me all excited, but if you don’t understand then you’ve never been a parent on a budget.